


YoI Fic Snippet Collection

by Teuthida



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Catboy Yuri Plisetsky, Dubious Consent, Exhibitionism, Fluff, Gen, Halloween, Humor, Institutionalized Prostitution, M/M, Masturbation, Mirrors, Multi, Nonnies Made Me Do It, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Prompt Fill, Unicorns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-08 09:56:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 10,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13455819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teuthida/pseuds/Teuthida
Summary: 23 - Prompt: Love bites that are very visible the next morning, Yuri, Victor, and Yuuri, background Yuri/Otabek24 - Prompt: Everyday magic, Yuuri/Victor and Makkachin25 - Prompt: Deaged to age of virginity loss, Yuri and Victor, background Yakov/Lilia26 - Prompt: Sex in crowded places, Yuri, Yuuri/Victor, and vague implications of Yuuri/Victor/Yuri, exhibitionism, public sex, accidental voyeurism, bordering on explicitA collection of unconnected responses to fic prompts, all under 1k.  Please see the first chapter for individual chapter pairing and prompt lists.





	1. Prompt List

2 - Prompt: Phichit's friends think his roommate is unfairly hot, Yuuri & Phichit

3 - Prompt: Exhibitionism. Implied Yuuri/Phichit, explicit

4 - Prompt: Detroit Halloween Adventures. Yuuri & Phichit, gen

5 - Prompt: Babies. Yuuri/Victor and past Yuuri/Yuuko/Takeshi

6 - Prompt: Heresy. Yuuri & Yuuko & Takeshi, gen

7 - Prompt: Crack AUs. Yuuri/Victor and implied Yuuri/Yuri/Otabek, unicorns

8 - Prompt: Assholes. Victor & Christophe and Yuuri, gen

9 - Prompt: Transformation. Implied future Yuuri/Victor/Yuri, catboys, consent issues

10 - Prompt: Dubcon. Yuri, dubious consent and institutionalized prostitution

11 - Prompt: Inappropriate use of mirrors in a dance studio. Yuuri/Yuri, explicit

12 - Prompt: Porn parody. Yuri, explicit

13 - Prompt: Deaging. Phichit/Celestino

14 - Prompt: Keeping Secrets. Yuuri/Victor and past Yuuri/Phichit

15 - Prompt: Drunk Sex. Yuuri/Victor, implied Yuuri/Victor/Yuri

16 - Prompt: Soft Cocks. Yuri, Victor, and Yuuri. Yuri being inappropriate in his head.

17 - Prompt: Inappropriate Teaching. Yuri and Yuuri/Victor, implied past dubcon.

18 - Prompt: Virgin sluts. Yuri, Victor, and Yuuri, institutionalized prostitution

19 - Prompt: Loud neighbors. Yuri, Victor, and Yuuri, implied Yuuri/Victor and Yakov/Lilia

20 - Prompt: Turning 18, implied Yuuri/Phichit(/Celestino)

21 - Prompt: Erotic novels, Yuuri/Victor

22 - Prompt: Fucking someone after walking in on them masturbating, Yuuri/Phichit, size kink, explicit

23 - Prompt: Love bites that are very visible the next morning, Yuri, Victor, and Yuuri, background Yuri/Otabek

24 - Prompt: Everyday magic, Yuuri/Victor and Makkachin

25 - Prompt: Deaged to age of virginity loss, Yuri and Victor, background Yakov/Lilia

26 - Prompt: Sex in crowded places, Yuri, Yuuri/Victor, and vague implications of Yuuri/Victor/Yuri, exhibitionism, public sex, accidental voyeurism, bordering on explicit


	2. Phichit's Friends Think His Roommate is Unfairly Hot

“Look, Yuuri, all I'm asking is that you take your clothes off and put them on in the bathroom when we have guests. I don't mind. You know I don't mind. But yesterday, Janie almost got a concussion by whacking her head against corner of the sofa while following your ass with her eyes.” Phichit gestured emphatically at the pointy corner in question. 

“I just really don't get the point. I wear a towel so they can't see my dick, why bother with more? It's just a body.” Yuuri looked incredibly confused. 

Phichit resisted the urge to bash his head on the pointy sofa. At least Yuuri used a towel when they had guests. He had a very pretty dick, not that Phichit had been intentionally looking. Much. Tyrone, however, definitely would've. And then gotten on his damn knees right then and there. Though, Yuuri's reaction to that would be hilarious. Phichit should invite Tyrone over soon. 

“Yuuri, yes. It's just a body. But Americans are really fucking weird about naked bodies, remember? Especially the ones that didn't grow up in locker rooms. Most of them are not the hockey players, cheerfully slapping each other's balls.” Hockey players were weird. And mostly very disappointing in bed. 

“What is with the hockey players, anyway?” Yuuri asked. He sighed and shook his head. “I get your point, though. Having clothes in the bathroom just feels so dirty.”

“Well, it's that, or suffer knowing that the only one of my friends who hasn’t shared their elaborate sexual fantasy about you with me afterwards is Susan, and that's only because Susan isn't into men. I had to listen to Abdul rhapsodize about your nipples for ten minutes last week.” Not that Phichit didn't agree with Abdul, but it was the principle of the thing. 

Yuuri flushed red. “Right. I'll… bring clothes.”

“Thank you.” Phichit's life was hard.


	3. Exhibitionism

Yuuri bit his lip and looked at the video on the screen. He didn't look like himself at all. He looked like someone who might really be desirable.

"Well?" Phichit asked.

"It's surprisingly well lit," Yuuri said. He watched, detached, as his hand moved on his dick and heard his breath catch.

"Excuse me, there is nothing surprising about that. I set that scene extremely carefully, thank you."

"No, it's just...." Yuuri trailed off, watching as the him on screen picked up the dildo. "I actually look good."

Phichit sighed. "Yuuri, you always look good."

Yuuri ignored him and watched the dildo sink inside himself. "You're sure you can't see my face at all?"

"Not in a single frame. You also never say anything, and there's nothing identifiable in the room." Phichit put his hand on his heart. "I swear on my signed King and the Skater poster that this video could never be tied Katsuki Yuuri, figure skater."

Yuuri took a deep breath and watched his abs clench. "Okay. Okay."

Phichit beamed. "You'll let me upload it to Pornhub?"

Yuuri thought about it, really thought about it. Thought about everyone out there who might watch him. He licked his lips. "Post it."


	4. Detroit Halloween Adventures

Yuuri plugged in the electric kettle he'd had to buy on Amazon and jumped when a shriek came out of Phichit's room. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yuuri!" Phichit dashed excitedly out of his bedroom and twirled around. He was wearing fuzzy boots, a fuzzy thong with a little tail on it, and a big fuzzy hat with a nose, eyes, and ears. "My Halloween costume came!"

Yuuri gaped. "What is that supposed to be?"

"I'm a sexy hamster, of course!" Phichit turned around and wiggled his ass to make the tail move.

-

Yuuri stared at the aisle of gigantic candy bags. Yuuri stared at the prices of the gigantic candy bags.

"Can we just pretend not to be home?" Yuuri asked.

"Ciao-Ciao did say we might not get anyone in an apartment anyway." Phichit poked at a bag of chocolates promising they looked like eyeballs.

"We should probably have something, though. Just in case. I don't want sad children, Phichit."

"True. I guess we could bring any leftovers to the rink for the beginner classes?" Phichit held up a bag of something proclaiming itself to be gummy zombie fingers and made a face.

Yuuri grabbed a small bag of Kit-Kats. Kit-Kats were fine. Boringly flavored in America, but fine.

-

There were pumpkin guts all over the kitchen.

"This seemed much easier on tv," Phichit said.

Yuuri frowned at their attempt at a face. "I don't think that nose is structurally stable."

-

Phichit yelped and squeezed himself even closer to Yuuri when someone in creepy clown make-up leered at them.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Yuuri asked for what felt like the fiftieth time. They were nearing the front of the line, so there wasn't much more time to back out. "Your Instagram followers will understand."

"They asked for a haunted house reaction video, so they are getting a haunted house reaction video," Phichit said firmly, though his hands were shaking. "I can't let them down."

A man came up wielding a chainsaw. Phichit screamed.

-

Yuuri jolted awake. His bedroom door was opening.

"Yuuri?" Phichit whispered.

"What?" Yuuri mumbled into his pillow.

"Can I sleep with you tonight? I keep seeing that serial killing doctor in the corners of my room."

Yuuri sighed and lifted up the covers. "I told you not to watch that horror marathon."

Phichit crawled in. "They're supposed to be classics!"

Yuuri made a noise and closed his eyes, drifting off again.

"Okay, now Victor Nikiforov is staring at me."

Yuuri rolled over and put his arm around Phichit. "He'll watch over you and protect you from the doctor. Go to sleep."


	5. Babies

Yuuri tapped his fingers on his champagne glass, staring across the ballroom at the commotion surrounding JJ, Isabella, and their newborn daughter. JJ hadn't even been competing in Skate Canada, but it was in Montreal, so they'd shown up anyway.

"God, he's only twenty. Could you imagine having a baby at twenty?" Chris asked.

Victor shook his head and took Yuuri's hand. He knew what Yuuri was thinking about.

Yuuri downed his glass. "I used to do it far too much."

Chris turned to look at him. "Oh, there's a story there."

Yuuri watched as JJ handed the baby to a young French skater who'd just moved up from Juniors. "You remember my friends Yuuko and Nishigori, right? You met them in Hasetsu."

"Of course," Chris said. "Oh. They are rather young to have seven year-olds, aren't they."

"Yuuko got pregnant when she was nineteen." Yuuri sighed.

"You don't actually have to talk about it, love," Victor said.

"It was a long time ago." Yuuri fiddled with his glass, and winced when the baby started to cry. Isabella quickly took her back. "The three of us fooled around some, back in high school."

Chris smiled. "I didn't know you played both fields."

Yuuri shrugged. It wasn't important. "We weren't actually sure who the father was."

Chris winced. Victor squeezed his hand.

"It didn't really matter, because I was seventeen, and she and Nishigori were getting married and we all knew it. Except then it was triplets, and do you know how many medical complications triplets can have? So we had to have it tested for medical history reasons, and if it turned out I was the father I couldn't just leave, and…." Yuuri shook his head. "Luckily I wasn't, but, well. There's more than one reason my Senior debut season was so terrible."

"Jesus," Chris said. "Still, it's almost too bad."

Victor narrowed his eyes at him.

Chris grinned. "Those girls showed me some old videos of their mother. The two of you combined?" Chris shook his head. "Women's skating would've never seen what hit it."

Yuuri let out a laugh and grabbed another glass.


	6. Heresy

Yuuko burst into the locker room. “It came!”

Yuuri looked up from tying his skates, excited. “The special photobook with the new interview?”

“Yes!” She held it out. “And look! There are posters!”

Yuuri took it and sighed happily. “Victor's hair is so pretty.”

Yuuko nodded frantically and grabbed it back, flipping through it. “Look at his eyes in this one! So blue.”

“Oh! That's his new exhibition costume!” Yuuri reached out to stroke the photo. “There's so much mesh.”

Yuuko grinned happily at him. “You can have that poster.”

Yuuri blushed. 

“I just don't get what you two see in that guy,” Takeshi said, looking over Yuuko’s shoulder at the photos. “He’s so... Russian.”

“I know,” Yuuri said, staring wistfully at a picture of Victor and Makkachin playing in the snow. “Isn't it great?”

“You have no taste, Takeshi,” Yuuko said, shaking her head. “No taste at all.”


	7. Crack AUs (Unicorns)

Yuri sat against the wall, staring at the scene in front of him in disbelief. Unicorns. Unicorns had shown up at Worlds. And they were flocking around Chris, Victor, Phichit, JJ, and Mickey like they were the best things they'd ever seen.

Yuri couldn't even get close.

Of course, neither could Katsudon.

"Aren't you two engaged?" Yuri asked. "What, is Victor waiting for marriage?"

Katsudon shifted awkwardly. "It's complicated." He looked at Yuri out of the side of his eye. "Aren't you fifteen?"

"Fuck you, I turned sixteen last month. You were there."

One of the unicorns nuzzled Victor and licked his cheek. Victor looked besotted. It was disgusting.

Fuck, Katsudon must have the bluest balls in the world.

Yuri bit his lip. "Do you want to get out of here? I was going to go watch a movie in Otabek's room."

Katsudon stared out at the unicorns. They were somehow weaving flower crowns out of the bouquets, and Victor was beaming. Chris was crying with happiness. Yuri never wanted to think about this again.

Katsudon clenched his fist against thigh and took a deep breath. "Yes. Yes, I do. Netflix and chill with Otabek. No unicorns. Let's go."

Holy shit. This day was looking up.


	8. Assholes

"Does he never talk to people?" Victor asked, staring at Yuuri Katsuki across the room. He was ignoring everyone around him. "I've seen him at multiple Worlds and even the Olympics, and I don't think he's even once acknowledged I exist."

Chris shrugged. "He can be okay if you get him at the right time, and he's kind of a hilarious drunk. I think he just gets wrapped up in his own head during competitions."

"Really?" Victor watched as Katsuki didn't even respond to one of the flower kids who came timidly up to him. It looked like he hadn't even noticed she was there.

Chris watched the same exchange and grimaced. "Well, there is also a reason he gets called 'cold' and 'aloof' so often, and it's not just that he tries to brush off most of the press. There's apparently one Japanese reporter he has a good relationship with and that's about it."

Victor shook his head. That was just stupid.

"But, honestly, I think he's mostly just shy?" They watched as the girl's face fell and she slunk off without Katsuki ever turning to look at her. "And, okay, spectacularly unobservant."

"And kind of a dick," Victor said, smiling at the girl. She beamed and came over, holding out her autograph book. They both signed and smiled for a selfie.

"Okay, yes, he's also kind of a dick," Chris said, after she bounced away. "But, seriously, he's a lot of fun if you can crack open his shell. It just takes a bit of work to do that." He paused. "Alcohol helps."

"Mmm," Victor said. He kind of doubted it.

"He's said before that he admires you, so maybe just try talking to him? Offer to take a selfie with him, maybe."

They watched as Cialdini put his hand lightly on Katsuki's shoulder, who actually jumped. Which, okay, was kind of cute.

"Maybe," Victor said. It couldn't hurt.

But when he did ask later and Katsuki turned and walked away without even responding, he couldn't say he was surprised.


	9. Transformation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am planning on expanding and continuing this one, but given my track record of actually finishing longer fic (it languishes on my hard drive, unfinished and unposted), I might as well post this snippet as is.

Yuri woke with a start, his body aching in a way that wasn't normal. His head hurt. His back hurt. Even his fucking guts hurt. He rolled over onto his back and bolted upright.

There was a lump underneath him.

He reached back, his hand trembling, and found it. A tail. Just one. Frantically, he reached up to touch his head. Ears.

No. No, this couldn't be happening. He was 15, he should've been just past the age of transformation. He'd lucked out and was a null like his grandpa, the small part of the population who stayed birth human. He wasn't a felis. He wasn't destined to be a sex slave and a breeding factory for the first mage who touched him. This was just a nightmare.

There was a light tap on the door frame. Yuri jumped. 

Katsudon called through the door. "Yurio? Are you coming down for breakfast? You've overslept and we have to leave for practice soon."

"No!" Yuri choked out. Oh god, Katsudon was a mage. Katsudon was.... He would.... "Fuck!"

"Are you all right?" 

Yuri could almost feel Katsudon's worry, but he couldn't respond. He brought his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around his knees. He watched, detached, as his new tail came to curl around them. He had the tail of a snow leopard.

"Yurio?" Katsudon asked again. The door began to slide open.

"Don't come in!"

It was too late. The door was all the way open, and Yuri hugged his knees tighter. He didn't look. He couldn't watch Katsudon coming over to claim him.

He didn't come.

"What's taking so long?" Victor asked. "We need to get over to the Ice Castle."

"Ah, Victor...." Katsudon's voice trailed off. He didn't sound eager, like mages were supposed to be when they found an unclaimed felis. He just sounded sad. Yuri risked a look at him. He was tightly gripping the door, but he wasn't moving forward.

"What?" Victor came and stood beside him, and the floor froze. Yuri didn't think he'd ever seen him lose control of his ice before. "Oh, Yura. Oh, Yura, I'm so sorry."

Yuri buried his face in his knees. He didn't want Victor's pity. He just wanted to wake up.

Yuri heard Katsudon swallow. "I'm going to go call Yuuko. Kitsune aren't quite the same, but they're close. She can at least touch him without hurting him or. Or claiming him."

"Go, Yuuri. The longer you stay here, the harder he's going to be for you to resist," Victor said, his voice loud in the quiet.

Yuri heard Katsudon turn and walk away. He looked up. Victor's skin looked even colder than it normally did. "Someone's going to have to claim me soon, and the only mages I know around here are Katsudon and his fucking mother."

"Maybe," Victor said, "but we can at least try to give you some semblance of a choice. Is there anyone we could call that you'd might want to claim you? Minako and I could keep everyone else away until they got here." 

Yuri shook his head violently. The ears made it feel wrong. "No."

Victor bit his lip. "There is... there is still the other option. None of us would fault you for it. We'd miss you, but we wouldn't fault you." Victor made a rose in the frost building at his feet. "I almost took it."

"You're a fucking elemental. You have power and beauty and a skating advantage. Why the fuck would you kill yourself?"

"I'm also going to die by the age of 35 if I don't bond, Yura, and give a mage the ability to force me to use my ice to do whatever they want. It may not be automatic and involuntary like it is for you, but it's still my sword of Damocles."

Yuri sat, staring at his twitching tail. It was weird. "Do you...."

"Hmm?" Victor asked.

"Do you think he'd be willing to claim both of us?"

There was a long pause and Victor sighed. "I guess we'll find out." 

Yuri's new tail wrapped more tightly around his legs. It was soft. He couldn't imagine being tied to Victor and Katsudon for the rest of his life, possibly bearing their damn litters, but he didn't really want to die, either. And being tied to anyone else would be worse.

Victor took a deep breath and let it out. "Well, at least your ears are very cute!" he said, his voice forcibly bright.

"Oh, go freeze the hot springs."


	10. Dubcon

Yuri had known this was part of being in the Senior division. He had. That didn't mean his hands weren't shaking as he took his clothes off in the small room off to the side of the judges' suite.

"The first time is always the worst," Emil said, folding up his pants. He smiled at Yuri. "You'll be fine."

JJ tossed a bottle at him, and Yuri reached up to catch it. "Just don't forget to lube yourself up, little Yuri. We have to be ready and waiting."

Yuri swallowed and nodded, opening the cap and reaching back to prepare himself.

Emil frowned at him. "You have been fucked before, right?"

"Of course I have," Yuri said. "I'm not a fucking idiot. I knew I had to be ready for the judges' table." It had been incredibly awkward, losing his virginity to Victor in Katsudon's family home, while Katsudon fucking watched and gave him advice on how to make it seem like you were really into it, but it had still happened. Once.

Emil looked at him and sighed, and reached out to pat him on the shoulder. Yuri tried not to flinch. "Just… whatever you do, try not to cry. That just makes some of them rougher."

JJ posed with his stupid fingers, looking even more idiotic than normal wearing only a gold medal. Yuri consoled himself with the fact that JJ at least had a smaller dick than him. "Let's go do this, JJ style!"

Yuri took a deep breath and settled his silver medal on his chest. Victor had done this at nearly every competition for years. Even fucking Katsudon the crying pig had placed on enough podiums to have done this tons of times. 

He could definitely handle getting fucked by the judges. He might not want to be here, but he could still be the best they'd ever had.

He followed JJ out into the judges' suite, his head held high.


	11. Inappropriate Use of Mirrors in a Dance Studio

Yuri whimpered, trying desperately not to fall forward. He couldn't maintain this impossibly high penché for much longer. He couldn't. 

“Hands, Yurio,” Katsudon said, stopping, his voice disturbingly steady. “A dancer must always be aware of his hands. Look at yourself, your fingers are terrible.”

Yuri stared at himself in the mirror. His fingers were flat and lifeless and the arm not holding onto the barre was drooping. He brought it back into position. 

“Better,” Katsudon said, and thrust back inside. Yuri watched, oddly detached, as Katsudon's dick sunk deep inside him. His leg was trembling where it rested against Katsudon's chest, and his foot was flattening. He pointed it back at the ceiling. 

Katsudon smiled slightly and turned his head to kiss Yuri's heel where it rested on his shoulder. “Very good.”

Yuri kept his head high and proud and gasped as Katsudon hit his prostate again and again. He gripped the barre tightly, trying to adjust his center of mass over his foot still resting on the floor. 

He couldn't look away from himself in the mirror. His position was insane, and because of it he could see that his asshole clung to Katsudon's dick every time it pulled out. It was obscene. 

“You're so beautiful, Yurio.” Katsudon ran his fingers down the arch of Yuri's back. Yuri shivered. “Just look at yourself, with your gorgeous hands and your beautifully positioned back.” 

He thrust in again, fast and deep. Yuri couldn't stop himself from crying out. 

“And right there in the middle, your pretty little cock, a perfect complement to the lines of the form.”

Yuri watched, shaking, as Katsudon's hand reached down and wrapped around Yuri’s dick. It looked delicate and strong and like it belonged there. One stroke, two, and he came, Katsudon fucking him through it. They were beautiful together. They were perfect. 

“Well,” Lilia said the next day, “I don't know what that boy is doing that I'm not, but I can't deny your form is better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, [penché](https://balletmanilaarchives.com/home/2017/7/10/ballet-dictionary-pench-in-first-arabesque).


	12. Porn Parody

Yuri's not even sure how he got here. One click after another led him to this, like the gods of the internet wanted to personally assure he suffered.

The actor they got for Katsudon is surprisingly good, actually, though Yuri has shared a hot spring with him and knows his dick isn't that big. Soft, anyway, and fuck, he refuses to think about this. He doesn't close the tab.

“Victor” on the other hand is almost laughable, his terrible wig clashing with his skin tone. But the mouth is weirdly right, and the way he gasps every time not!Katsudon slams in reminds Yuri way too much of how the real Victor looks after intense exercise. 

He's going to close the tab. He is. But he's been idly surfing porn for awhile now, and his dick is already out. He hates himself. 

Then a third actor enters the scene, short with a longer blond wig, and Yuri chokes. Fuck no, who thought this was a good idea? The new actor settles in to ride not!Victor while not!Katsudon continues to fuck him, and Yuri comes all over himself. 

He’s never going to be able to look either of them in the face again.


	13. Deaging

"Ciao Ciao?" Phichit opened the door slowly, glad that his mother was technically Celestino's landlord and had a key. "You missed practice and aren't answering your phone. Please tell me you just overslept and forgot to plug it in." That didn't explain why he also didn't open his door after Phichit knocked for ten minutes, but he was trying not to think about that. Celestino was a heavy sleeper, after all. That must be it.

The apartment was as clean and neat as it was the last time Phichit had seen it. He stepped in and closed the door behind him. "Hello? Ciao Ciao?"

There was no response. He swallowed hard.

He walked over to the bedroom, knocking on the door and then pushing it open. Someone was laying in the bed, stirring. It wasn't Celestino, unless Celestino had turned into a teenage boy overnight. He actually did look like Celestino, though, just thirty years younger. He definitely had Celestino's chin, anyway. Was one of his nephews in town?

The boy opened his eyes and sat up. "Phichit? Why are you in my bedroom?"

Phichit gaped.

Celestino frowned, obviously still half asleep. "I didn't get too drunk last night and invite you home, did I?"

Phichit shook his head. "No." Wait, that was a possibility? When Celestino had given him the 'I'm too old for you' speech, Phichit hadn't been aware he'd been nobly sacrificing himself. Oh, things were definitely going to change. Once he'd dealt with this. "You missed practice and weren't answering your phone. Or your door."

Celestino ran his hand through his hair. It seemed impossibly even thicker than it normally was. "Ah. I'm sorry about that."

"You should, um. You should go look in a mirror."

Celestino blinked at him, but sleepily got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. Holy fuck, he slept naked. And looked younger than Plisetsky.

Phichit heard a scream from the bathroom and couldn't help but laugh. "Who's too old for who now, huh?" he called out.

This was going to be fun.


	14. Keeping Secrets

"Yuuri!" A hand landed on his shoulder and shook him. Yuuri swatted it away. It moved to tug his blanket down, and he kicked at it. "Yuuri, I need to talk to you!"

"Can't it wait?" he mumbled into the sofa.

"No!" Victor said, his voice frantic.

Yuuri forced his eyes open to see a phone right in front of his face. He squinted at the screen. "Did you wake up me to look at porn?"

"Yes! Explain this, Yuuri!"

Yuuri blinked at it. It looked like standard porn to him. Horny Thai Roommate's 18th Birthday Celebration, with a thumbnail of fucking and party hats. "It's barely legal twink porn? It's porn, Victor."

Victor took a deep breath. "Yuuri," he said slowly, "is that or is that not you fucking Phichit?"

Oh. Oh, fuck. Yuuri grabbed the phone and stared at it. The video had over a million views and an 85% thumbs up rating, so that was flattering, he guessed. "Um. Would you believe I actually completely forgot about this?"

"You forgot that there's porn of you on the internet?" Victor's voice came out almost in a squeak.

Yuuri flushed. "I vaguely remember Phichit asking me if he could upload it?"

Victor let out an exaggerated sigh and threw himself on top of Yuuri. "My boyfriend is a secret porn star and he didn't even know it."

Yuuri reached out to stroke his hair. "Is that... is that okay?"

Victor buried his face in Yuuri's neck. "Well, I would've preferred not to find out via a text from Chris that was nothing but a link and a list of suggestive emoji."

Yuuri winced. "Sorry."

"I'm kind of jealous of everyone who got to jerk off to you before I did." Victor lifted his head to look Yuuri in the eyes. "But you're mine now, and none of them get to have you."

Ah. "Victor, how would you like to have sex with a porn star?"

"I thought you'd never ask."


	15. Drunk Sex

Yuuri giggled and jammed his keycard in the door lock. It didn't work. He pulled it out and slammed it back in. The lights on the lock were still red.

"Try mine!" Victor peeled himself off Yuuri's back just long enough to take out his wallet and drop it into Yuuri's hand. "It's in there, somewhere."

Yuuri opened it and looked inside. "You have two," he said.

Victor nuzzled his neck. "Oh! One of them is Yurio's. He left it at… at… the place. I grabbed it before his crazy fans could!"

Yuuri turned his head to look at him and smiled. He was so pretty. "You're so nice, Victor. So nice. And pretty."

Victor beamed. "It's why you love me!"

Yuuri nodded solemnly. "I do love you." He ground his ass against Victor's semi-hard dick. "I love you a lot."

"Inside," Victor chanted. "Inside, inside, inside."

Yuuri pulled one of the cards out of the wallet and slid it into the lock. The light turned green. Success!

Victor pushed him through the door, and Yuuri flipped them around, pushing Victor against the wall as the door shut behind them. He slammed his mouth against Victor's, and brought his hand down to start undoing his ridiculously complicated pants. 

"What the FUCK?"

Yuuri pulled back and turned his head to look towards the familiar voice. "Yurio! Why are you in our room?"

"Maybe he wants to join us!" Victor said.

Yuuri considered that and nodded with a smile. "We'll be very nice to you, Yurio."

Yurio's face was incredibly red. "No! Oh my fucking god."

"Do you want a show?" Victor asked. "Chris does say we put on a very pretty show!"

"THIS IS MY ROOM, YOU FUCKERS!"

"So, no show?" Yuuri asked. He liked putting on a show for his friends. It made him feel beautiful.

Yurio closed his eyes and licked his lips. "Not when you're this fucking drunk." He took a deep breath and opened his eyes to glare at them, walked up to the door and opened it. "Now get the fuck out." He pointed across the hall. "That one, assholes."

Yuuri leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you, Yurio!"

Yurio shivered and pushed them out the door, slamming it behind them.


	16. Soft Cocks

It's not that Yuri hasn't been around a lot of naked men before. He's an athlete. Locker rooms are just a normal part of life. And he's definitely done his share of carefully looking but not looking. He's fifteen. He's allowed.

But the hot spring is something else entirely.

Washing up before getting in is fine. It's normal. It's not a group shower, but it's close enough to be familiar. Even the old men of Hasetsu laughing with each other in a language Yuri doesn't speak and wandering around with their dicks flapping about is pretty normal, really. Yuri assumes old men are just like that everywhere.

No, the problem is the hot spring itself. The water feels amazing on his muscles, but he can't stop thinking about how he's sitting naked, in the bath, with two extremely attractive men. Who are also naked. He doesn't even really like either of them, but he's not fucking dead. And he could stretch out his toes and just poke Victor's cock and see what happened, right now, if he really wanted to. Or reach out and grab Katsudon's cock, just to see what one other than his own felt like in his hand. The only thing that's separating them is a little bit of water and Yuri's failing impulse control. And they're just sitting there, relaxed. Chatting.

It doesn't feel like a locker room. It's messing with Yuri's head.

Then Victor stands to illustrate some point Yuri hasn't been listening to, and there's his soft dick again, free in the breeze exactly like and yet completely different from the old men. Yuri swallows and carefully looks but doesn't look. He accidentally meets Kastudon's eyes, who is doing the exact same thing, and Katsudon smiles at him in what looks like sympathy.

Yuri ducks his head under the water in what is definitely not embarrassment, grateful that the Katsukis keep the water hot enough that at least he's not really getting hard. It puts Katsudon's body right in front of his face.

He doesn't close his eyes.


	17. Inappropriate Teaching

"You have to give them what they want, without actually giving them anything they want," Victor said, very seriously.

"That doesn't make any fucking sense." Yuri scowled at him and took another bite of his dinner. The best part of Katsudon moving to St. Petersburg was definitely the food.

"He's right, though," Yuuri said, putting down his chopsticks. "I've never been very good at it, but he's right. You have to, well." He stopped and flushed, looking down at his dinner. "You have to play up their fantasy."

Victor nodded enthusiastically. "The hardest part is figuring out if they just want to meet an Olympian and shake your hand, or if they're dreaming about you in their bed." He paused and took a drink. "But usually, it's best to assume the latter."

Yuri shuddered. "I am not fucking anybody."

"You won't have to!" Victor said cheerfully. "You just have to flirt and give them a hint that you might, on the right day. No actual fucking required."

"Well...." Yuuri trailed off and grimaced. "Hopefully not, anyway. Sometimes, there's a deal too good to pass up with strings attached and you're desperate."

Yuri gaped at him. That was. He was not thinking about that. Or about Katsudon doing that.

Victor reached out and gripped Katsudon's hand. "But if you're ever that hard up for money, come to me," he said. "I can spare it."

"I'm never going to need money that badly," Yuri said and stabbed a piece of chicken. "...but thanks," he muttered.

"Anyway!" Yuuri said, voice forcibly bright. "That's how you get better sponsors."


	18. Virgin Sluts

Yuri knew that when he moved up to Seniors he was also becoming a high-end prostitute. That was just the way things worked. If he wanted to skate, he had to appease the sponsors, the judges, and sometimes random corrupt politicians. The ISU would tell him where to go, and he would. They all did. He even knew the ISU would assign him a persona, telling him how to act with the clients. Yakov had warned him, telling they tried to make it something that they thought fit the skater, but the skater never actually got to choose.

"I got my assignment this morning," Yuri said, abruptly, before practice. He didn't really want to talk to Yuuri or Victor about it, but they were skaters. They knew what it was like. 

"Oh?" Victor turned and looked at him. "What did you get? Right out of Juniors they gave me 'enthusiastic novice', which was nice. I just had to act like I was excited about everything and had no idea what I was doing. It was easy. Then I cut my hair and they gave me 'confident playboy'." Victor made a weird face. "It's so much more work."

"They've never changed mine," Yuuri said. "It's been the same since I moved up: 'virgin slut'."

Yuri stared at him. "What the fuck does that even mean?"

Yuuri shrugged. "I act quiet, shy, nervous, and like I've never done this before, right up until I'm deep-throating them or taking two dicks at once. I get assigned threesomes a lot." 

Victor started coughing violently. Fuck, he was pathetic.

"Are you okay?" Yuuri asked. Yuri had no idea how the pig could be this oblivious when he'd just been talking about double penetration the same way he'd asked Yuri what he wanted for breakfast that morning.

Victor waved a hand holding a bottle. "Sorry, wrong pipe." So fucking pathetic. "Anyway, Yurio, what did you get?"

Yuri let out an angry sigh. "Bratty cockslut."

Victor hid a laugh behind his hand and Yuri glared at him. Asshole. 

Yuuri smiled wryly in sympathy. "After we get back to the onsen tonight, I'll teach you how to deep-throat. You're going to need it."

Victor choked again and Yuuri winked at him, then took off his guards and stepped out into the ice. 

Wait, what? There was no way in hell Yuri would be able to focus on his routine now. Fucking pig.


	19. Loud Neighbors

Yuri pounded on the door, waited a few moments, and then did it again. He was pulling out his phone to call when the door swung open. 

Yuuri stared at him blearily. His hair was a mess, he was shirtless, and he clearly hadn't been sleeping in those pants because they were on backwards. Yuri gritted his teeth and pushed past him into the apartment. 

"Yurio?" Yuuri asked, voice scratchy. "Is something wrong? It's the middle of the night."

"I'm sleeping on your couch," Yuri said, throwing himself onto it. 

"What's going on?" Victor asked as he came out of the bedroom, scratching at his chest. He didn't have on any pants at all. Right now, Yuri couldn't really bring himself to care. It was still better than tonight's alternative.

Yuuri waved his hand sleepily at Yuri. "He's here to steal our couch."

Victor blinked at him. He didn't even bother to try and cover up now that he saw Yuuri wasn't alone. Fucking exhibitionist. "Yurio? Is there something wrong with your apartment?"

Yuri groaned. He didn't want to think about it. "Yakov and Lilia made up."

"Were they fighting?" Yuuri asked.

"No, they _made up_ ," Yuri ground out. 

Victor stared at him. "...right. I'll get you a blanket."

"Thanks," Yuri said, starting to feel the walk through the snow catch up with him, on top of the work he'd done at the rink today. He was exhausted.

"I don't..." Yuuri trailed off. He was pretty clearly still half asleep. "What?"

Victor answered before Yuri could. "Lilia's a screamer."

"Oh," Yuuri said, blankly.

"Fucking exactly," Yuri said and shuddered. "Right now I don't even care if I have to listen to you two fuck instead. At least you're not old and ugly."

"Aw, Yurio, you say the sweetest things," Victor said brightly, and dumped a pillow and a folded up blanket on top of him.


	20. Turning 18

Yuuri stepped sleepily out of his bedroom and stared. There was a giant light on a tripod in the corner of the living room, and Phichit was fumbling with a large diffusion screen. 

"What are you doing?" he asked, rushing over to help when it looked like Phichit was about to knock over the table lamp.

"Good morning!" Phichit said, cheerful and excited. "I'm setting up to celebrate my birthday!"

"Happy birthday," Yuuri responded automatically. He looked around the room. "Are you doing a photoshoot for someone?" He wasn't sure why a photographer wouldn't bring their own equipment, but it was the only thing he could come up with. 

"Not exactly," Phichit said, frowning at the room, and then moving the screen slightly to the left.

"Then why…" Yuuri trailed off and waved a hand at the room. 

Phichit looked at him and smiled. "Yuuri, today I turn 18, the mystical age of American adulthood, and since I currently live in America, it should be marked. Americans stupidly can't drink until 21, and we can't even drive to Windsor to celebrate because Ontario's drinking age is 19. I can't vote, and I refuse to buy cigarettes, so I'm celebrating with the one thing I can now legally do." He nodded his head decisively. "I'm going to make porn."

Yuuri stared at him. "...in the living room?"

"My bedroom is too small to light properly," Phichit said absently. "Though given our differences in skin tones, we should probably wait until we get the bright afternoon sun through the main window."

"What, our? Phichit, I am not being in porn!" It was too damn early for this. 

"Aw, it'll be fun! Come on, I know you like being watched." Phichit waggled his eyebrows.

Yuuri might be able to admit that he did, if he was drunk, but that was beside the point. "No! What about that hockey player you've been seeing?" Yuuri couldn't remember his name or his face, just his thighs. He had very memorable thighs. 

"Dylan's too worried about it leaking since he's been drafted by the Habs and is a public figure now. Come on, Yuuri, please?" Phichit gave him puppy dog eyes.

"Phichit," Yuuri said slowly, " _we're_ public figures."

Phichit just shrugged and smiled.

"I, look, what about, uh." Yuuri scrambled for a name and blurted out the first that came to mind. "Celestino?" He stopped, horrified at himself. Phichit looked at him, his eyes widening. "He has that nude print of himself in his bathroom?" Yuuri said, weakly. 

"Oh, wow," Phichit said, breathless. "Do you really think he would? I have to call him." He fumbled with his phone.

Yuuri stared at him. "I'm going back to bed."

"Good idea," Phichit said, phone to his ear, as Yuuri walked back to his bedroom. "You need to be well rested for our potential cinematic threesome with Ciao-Ciao later! Oh, Ciao-Ciao, hi!"

Yuuri shut the door and threw himself onto the bed, pressing the pillow into his face. Future Yuuri could deal with this. It's not like Celestino was going to agree anyway.

The door swung open again. "Set your alarm," Phichit said, gleeful. "He's coming over a little after noon."


	21. Erotic Novels

Yuuri shifted in the plane seat, bored out of his mind. His phone and his handheld were both dead, since he'd forgotten to plug them in last night after Victor distracted had him. And then Victor had stayed up to finish his book while Yuuri had curled up, half on top of him, and fallen asleep. Which was fair, coaching at Four Continents was far less tiring than skating in it. But it brought him to now, wide awake, nothing to do, and Victor barely able to keep his eyes open beside him. 

Yuuri sighed and lifted up the armrest between them. "Go to sleep, Victor." He brought up his arm, a clear invitation to cuddle in.

Victor immediately did so. "But you're bored," he said with a yawn.

"And you're half asleep." He brought his hand up to curl into Victor's hair. "Can I borrow your phone?"

Victor shook his head into Yuuri's shoulder. "The battery's almost dead."

Next time, Yuuri was going to demand they plug in their electronics before they had sex. "What about your Kindle? Is there anything on there I can read?"

Victor stiffened slightly beside him. "Um, yes, most of it is in English."

Yuuri frowned at him and reached forward to grab it from where Victor had stashed it in the seatback pocket. "I don't have to borrow it."

"No, it's fine," Victor said, not very convincingly, and buried his face in Yuuri's shoulder. His neck was flushing red. 

Yuuri hesitated a moment, then flipped open the cover. He was curious now, and Victor had given him permission. Instead of the Russian novels that lined his bookshelves in St. Petersburg, Yuuri saw a digital shelf covered in pictures of beautiful men. The first one, presumably the one Victor had just finished, was called _The Lonely Samurai_ , and the cover featured a headless body in a low, open kimono showing off chiseled abs, and holding a sword loosely in one hand. Next to it were _The Captain's Boy_ , _The Secret of the Tsar_ , and _His Lord's Favor_ , all featuring similar covers.

Oh. Of course. Yuuri somehow wasn't even surprised. "Which one's your favorite?" 

Victor grabbed it and quickly did some things, then handed it back almost shyly. "This one."

The screen was open to a blurb, and Yuuri skimmed it and smiled. He massaged Victor's scalp a little and turned his head to kiss his hair. "I love you," he whispered into his hair. "Now go to sleep."

Victor curled into him as much as his seatbelt would allow, and Yuuri settled in to read about the Russian sailor shipwrecked off the coast of Japan during the late Tokugawa, and the lonely innkeeper who took him in.


	22. Fucking someone after walking in on them masturbating

Phichit knocked lightly on the door and swung it open without waiting for a response. "Hey, Yuuri? Do you know where…." He trailed off and flushed. Yuuri was naked on the bed, his dick hard and leaking in his hand. His incredibly large dick. Phichit had seen him soft before, so he knew Yuuri was on the bigger side, but seriously, wow. "Um, sorry."

Yuuri's face was bright red, and he was scrambling for something to cover himself with. "Phichit! Wait until I say you can come in!"

Phichit should go. Things might be awkward for a bit, but then they'd forget about this and things would go back to normal. Instead, Phichit found himself walking up to the bed without really thinking about it, and reaching out to grab the sheet Yuuri was trying to crawl under. He swallowed. "Do you want some help with that?"

Yuuri stilled. "Phichit? What are you doing?"

Phichit looked at Yuuri's dick, still hard and straining under the thin sheet, then up at his flushed face. "I need your dick in my mouth, Yuuri," he said, cheerfully.

Yuuri gaped at him. "What? Stop making jokes and let me die in peace, please."

"I'm not joking," Phichit said, pulling the sheet back and crawling up onto the bed. Yuuri didn't stop him. Phichit looked at his dick and licked his lips. "Can I?"

Yuuri nodded mutely. Phichit grinned at him and reached out to grasp his dick lightly. It was huge in his hand. Phichit felt his heart speed up. He did a light, experimental stroke. 

Yuuri's head thumped back on the bed. "Phichit," he said and stopped. 

Phichit lowered his head and licked the tip, reveling in the taste as Yuuri whimpered. Then he opened his mouth wide and took him in. 

Yuuri moaned raggedly and his hand came up to rest on the back of Phichit's head. His dick was almost too big for Phichit's mouth. He felt the stretch at the corners of his lips and in his jaw muscles, and wow, he didn't know he was so into this.

Phichit knew he wasn't going to be able to take him very deep, but he was going to try his best. Yuuri's skin was warm and silky, and he smelled like sex and sweat. Phichit was straining against his own pants, and shifted a little so he could rub against the mattress. 

Yuuri's hand tightened in his hair as Phichit changed the angle and was able to take him a little deeper. Phichit stroked the shaft beneath his mouth, and started to massage his balls with his other hand.

Phichit's mouth was starting to get tired, but he knew the power of good pain and pushed past it. He loved this. He wondered what a dick this big would feel like in his ass. 

"Phichit, I'm…" Yuuri bit out, his hand flexing in Phichit's hair. Phichit internally grinned, and took Yuuri in as far as he possibly could. He watched in fascination as Yuuri's abdominal muscles tightened and almost seemed to ripple, and then Yuuri whimpered and came, his semen hitting the back of Phichit's throat. 

Phichit swallowed and worked him through his orgasm, letting it linger on his tongue. He loved the taste, weird as other people sometimes seemed to find that.

He pulled off as Yuuri started going soft and grinned up at him. "You taste amazing."

Yuuri stared at him, panting, his eyes dark. Then he reached out and Phichit found himself flipped onto his back, Yuuri hovering above him. "Fuck, Phichit," Yuuri said quietly, his voice cracking. 

Then Yuuri leaned down and they were kissing. Phichit brought his hand up into Yuuri's hair, and fuck, he was good at this. They were going to be doing this all the time now, if Phichit had any say in it. 

They broke for air, and Yuuri smiled down at him, then reached down and started undoing Phichit's pants. Phichit lifted his ass so that Yuuri could pull them down just enough. His gasp as Yuuri took him in hand was caught by Yuuri's mouth, and Phichit felt lost in sensation, completely surrounded by the taste, smell, touch, and heat of his best friend. 

After an embarrassingly few number of strokes, Phichit came, probably ruining his shirt. He didn't even care right now. Yuuri kissed and stroked him through it, then rolled over to lay beside him. 

Phichit stared up at the ceiling, breathing hard. "The next time we have a free day, you are so fucking me the night before. I want to feel that thing stretching my ass."

Yuuri started laughing. "Sure."

"Also, we will be making out all the time now. I hope you understand this."

Yuuri turned to look at him and smiled softly. "Yeah, okay."

"Right, good." Phichit suddenly remembered why he'd come looking for Yuuri in the first place. "Hey, do you know where the rice paddle is? I can't find it."

Yuuri groaned. "Again?"

Yeah, they'd be fine.


	23. Love bites that are very visible the next morning

Yuri was exhausted. He'd left Otabek's room after midnight, and then he'd tossed and turned all night, newly sore in places he'd never been sore before. It seemed like his alarm had gone off seconds after he'd finally fallen asleep. So he'd skipped breakfast for a few more minutes of sleep, because even if it was only the gala, he didn't want to try and jump when he was dead tired. It was the end of the season, and he had to prove that he may have only won the bronze at Worlds, but he was still Yuri Plisetsky.

He practically crawled over the arena at the last moment he reasonably could, and walked into the assigned locker room, unwinding his scarf and dumping his bag onto a bench. He changed into his costume, ignoring the buzz around him, when a hand grabbed his arm.

"I take it you haven't seen Yakov or Lilia yet this morning," Victor said, his voice a weird combination of horrified and amused.

Yuri tried to shake him off. "Let go of me, Old Man."

Victor's grip tightened. "Grab your make-up bag; I'm doing you a favor. You do not want to hear Lilia's standard lecture number three."

"You fucking numbered them?" Yuri asked, stumbling as Victor pulled him along. "What's that one about?"

Victor laughed. "You haven't looked in the mirror this morning either, have you? Otabek," he said very cheerfully, "is apparently part leech."

Yuri slapped his hand up to his neck, remembering how Otabek had bit down. He felt his face getting warm. "Fuck."

"Mmm, exactly. Foundation and concealer are your friends," Victor said, pushing Yuri into one of the make-up chairs. Yuri rifled through his bag, pulling out what Victor wanted. He had to do his face anyway.

"No, don't," Yuuri said from behind him. Yuri turned around to look at him. He was staring at Yuri's neck with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Blend around the edges and add a bit more color to make them stand out under the lights instead."

Victor paused and made a thoughtful noise. "Yurio, you're doing the same piece you did in Barcelona? With Otabek joining you on the ice?"

"Yeah," Yuri said slowly. "You've heard me and Yakov argue about it enough times."

Victor tilted his head and looked at Yuri appraisingly. He tapped his finger on his lips and nodded at Yuuri. "You're right. In this case they actually add to the aesthetic."

"You want me to go out with them highlighted?" Yuri winced at how much his voice seemed to squeak.

"That's the point, isn't it?" Yuuri asked. "Sex, danger, and a clear lack of innocence."

Yuri looked at himself in the mirror and thought about what his damn fanclub's reaction was likely to be, and about the lecture he was going to get from Lilia, Yakov, and maybe even his grandpa. And he thought about going out there and having everyone know, definitely know, that he wasn't the pure and innocent angel they wanted him to be. Nobody would be able to deny it then.

And everyone would be able to guess who gave them to him.

Yuri took a deep breath and nodded. "Do it."


	24. Everyday Magic

That first summer in Hasetsu, when Victor announced that it was Makkachin's thirteenth birthday and they had to celebrate, Yuuri had been amazed at how youthful and vigorous she was for her advanced age and had decided they definitely did. It might be her last, and he'd felt a deep pain when he thought about it.

The next summer, Makkachin had bounded around happily with her birthday treats, not slowing down at all. Yuuri had been happy, but had hugged her all the more tightly knowing that she was ancient for a standard poodle.

The summer after that, as she'd run along the beaches of Yuuri's hometown without seemingly even a hint of pain, Yuuri had started wondering.

It took five more summers for him to actually ask.

Yuuri watched Victor putter around their kitchen making Makkachin's special birthday 'cake', and bit his lip, trying to figure out how to bring it up without seeming crazy. "Victor," he said slowly, "how exactly did you get Makkachin? I don't think you've ever said."

Victor smiled and ducked his head. "She was a gift from a fan, actually. But I was young, barely out of novices, and how could I refuse a puppy?"

Yuuri smiled, thinking of a young Victor just being handed a puppy and being told to take it. He didn't think he'd have been able to resist either. "You couldn't," he said fondly.

Victor nodded decisively in agreement and put little candles on the 'cake'.

Yuuri pushed forward. "Was, um. Was this fan weird at all?"

Victor blinked at him. "What, other than the fact that she thought it was a good idea to give me a puppy?"

Yuuri laughed. "Yes, other than that."

Victor frowned and stared into space. "I, hmm. Not really? I mean, by crazy fan standards, no."

"She didn't appear to be, I don't know, a mad scientist? Maybe a witch?" Yuuri asked a little desperately.

Victor looked at him weirdly. "Well, she wasn't wearing a lab coat or carrying a broom."

Yuuri opened his mouth, closed it again, and sighed. He sounded like a crazy person. "Forget it."

Victor set Makkachin's treat aside and washed his hands. "Yuuri, what's going on?"

"Today is her twentieth birthday, Victor. Twentieth! The average lifespan of a standard poodle is twelve!"

"We're just lucky to have her with us this long," Victor said, smiling out the window as she chased a butterfly in their yard.

"Yes," Yuuri agreed. Makkachin was always a delight. "But Victor, it's rare for any dog to make it to twenty. Of any breed."

"Extremely lucky," Victor repeated.

"When we found her a new vet when we moved back to Japan, they thought she was four."

"And in such good health!" Victor cheerfully scrubbed down the counter.

Yuuri shook his head and smiled softly. "Victor, you don't have to deflect. You know I love her as much as you do. I just wanted to know how you got a magic, seemingly immortal dog."

"She's not immortal," Victor said sadly. "You know that as well as I do. One accident, and…." Victor trailed off.

Yuuri reached forward and grabbed his hand. "We'll protect her from those as best we can," he said firmly.

Victor nodded firmly. "We will."

Yuuri took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "So if she's not immortal, what is she?"

"I don't know," Victor said, a little exasperated. "A woman came up me, said something like 'you always look so lonely', plopped a puppy in my arms, and ran away."

Maybe she'd been an elf. Or an alien. Maybe Makkachin was an alien dog. That could be it.

"Just accept her for the miracle she is, Yuuri." Victor gave him a quick kiss and headed out the door. "Come on, time to celebrate!"

Yuuri followed and smiled as she bounded up to him, tail wagging. He did accept her. She was amazing.

But if she made it to twenty-five, he was going to stealthily contact a genetics lab. And possibly a magic shop.


	25. Deaged to age of virginity loss

When the Magical Event notification pinged on his phone, Yuri looked at and then rolled over and sighed. Okay, so it was kind of embarrassing that everyone could know he was still a virgin because his age hadn't changed at all, but whatever, he was fifteen. Events never lasted more than about a day anyway, and practice would be canceled until this one was over. Nobody even had to know.

There was a sudden crash outside his bedroom, followed by low swearing and a high-pitched giggle. He didn't want to know. He didn't. 

He opened the door and took a peek outside. There were two teenagers necking on the couch, and one of Lilia's weird vases was in pieces on the floor. Yuri stared at them, simultaneously horrified and wondering how it was possible for a man to lose that damn much hair.

He ducked back into his room and flopped back onto his bed. Right. He'd just not leave his bedroom for awhile. This was fine.

His phone rang, and he answered it without looking to see who it was.

"Yurio!" Victor said, panicking. "Yurio, Yuuri is fourteen and terrified of me and I can't find Yuuko or Takeshi and the triplets look like they're going to knife someone and you're the only one who answered your phone, help me!"

Yuri blinked up at his ceiling. Katsudon had sex at fourteen? He would not have guessed that. "I'm in St. Petersburg, asshole. What could I do?"

"No, Loop, don't touch that!" Victor's voice was oddly shrill.

"Wait, why do you remember me? How old are you right now?" Yuri asked, suddenly suspicious.

There was a pause. "...I'm hanging up now, bye."

Yuri cackled up at his ceiling. Oh, that was perfect. He'd have this on the Old Man for life.

The old vinyl record player started up in the living room. Yuri groaned and put his pillow over his head.


	26. Sex in crowded places

Yuri knew that the after parties in Seniors could be crazy and a little wild. He'd heard all the rumors, and he'd gone to the one after Europeans. It had mostly just been a lot of drunk people, and honestly, weirdly boring. Mila had said then to just wait for the one after Worlds, when everyone would be letting out all the tension of the season, but he'd mostly just expected even more drunk people. And there was that. A whole fucking lot of drunk people.

But he was pretty sure those people on the dance floor were doing a bit more than grinding. And there was an obvious rhythmic head bobbing going on just out of the corner of his eye that he was definitely not looking at. Didn't these people have their own hotel rooms?

He was only here because Otabek was DJing, and he really wasn't sure why this thing even needed a DJ. He backed up against a wall, next to little darkened alcove, and pointedly watched Otabek work. He looked like he was having a lot of fun. Well, as much as Otabek ever looked like he was having fun.

Yuri heard a quiet, breathy, "Yuuri!" come out of the alcove beside him and stiffened. He was not going to turn and look. He wasn't. It was dark, anyway. He wouldn't see anything.

He turned slightly, just to make sure he'd actually imagined that. The back of Victor's ridiculous hair glinted, reflecting the little bit of light in the room, and he was wearing the stupid, long dress jacket he'd been wearing over his team track suit the whole competition. It trailed behind him, nearly touching the floor. And he was straddling Yuuri, his arms wrapped around Yuuri's neck, his body moving up and down. Slowly. Rhythmically.

Yuri clenched the neck of the bottle he was holding so tightly he was surprised it didn't shatter. His pants suddenly felt a size too small, and he took a ragged breath. Those fucking perverts were… they were….

Victor made a quiet but weirdly high-pitched noise and buried his face in Yuuri's shoulder, and Yuri definitely did not feel it deep in his gut. The change in the angle of Victor's head meant he could see Yuuri's face, and Yuuri's eyes caught his almost instantly.

Yuri felt like he was rooted to the spot, unable to look away and desperately wanting to at the same time. Yuuri smiled slowly and licked his lips like he did during his Eros routine. Then he did something that had Victor throwing his head back in a silent gasp, and he winked. 

Yuri flushed with something that definitely was not want or embarrassment, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and turned and walked straight out of the room. Otabek would understand why he'd missed the rest of his set, once Yuri explained. He hoped.

And fuck he hoped Yuuri wasn't drunk enough to forget this ever happened, because he'd never be able to look him in the face again.


End file.
